You’re very welcome. I’m glad I could help!
You’re very welcome. I’m glad I could help!
For the longest time I just thought I had commitment and intimacy issues because of the way I was brought up and taught to view sex. I thought this was something I needed to go to therapy for, or maybe I just needed to meet the right guy. As far as sex goes, I’m still a virgin. The idea of sex is appealing, but I’ve never met someone to whom I was attracted enough to want to have sex, let alone kiss. Do you think I might be an aromantic graysexual? I’m sorry I’ve written a novel, but I’ve had so much trouble researching this, and your blog is a Godsend! I just don’t have anyone I can really talk to about this, so I feel a bit alone, and that sucks. Oh, before I forget, is it possible for someone to be 100% extroverted AND aromantic?
I’m glad you wrote me a “novel”! I’d much rather you send a couple asks than leave out something important to you. I opened this blog to help, and whatever you want to ask me, I’d love to hear.
It is 100% possible to be extroverted and aromantic! As far as I’m aware, there is no correlation between orientation and personality types.
It is entirely possible you don’t experience romantic attraction, given that I had a somewhat similar experience with my ex. If that is the case, then you would fit the definition of aromantic. I cannot decide if you do or don’t feel romantic attraction, though.
As for your your sexual identity, you could definitely be greysexual. If that’s the label you feel fits you best, feel free to use it.
If you ever want to talk with me privately, my personal inbox is here. It’s always open. If you prefer skype, or some other medium, I would be happy to share them.
Thank you very much! It means so much to me to hear that my best advice is good enough, especially during such a stressful time for me.
It’s also really nice to hear I sound intelligent, but for quite different reasons.
I’m here to help! I really don’t mind answering any questions you all have, even if I’ve answered them before.
I can’t speak for the aromantic community, but I experience aesthetic and sensual attraction. Aesthetic attraction is essentially looking at someone and thinking they are gorgeous. Sensual attraction for me is the desire to cuddle with someone, but it can be most types of physical affection, like kissing or holding hands.
As for the actual experience of being aromantic, it’s a lot like being asexual. Other people have a feeling that I’m expected to have, but don’t.
People all around me keep talking about how badly they want romantic relationships and how wonderful they are, and I’m just quietly baffled. They are welcome to share their feelings, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Romance seems confusing even to people who do experience romantic attraction, so I made my peace with not understanding fairly quickly.
Well, if you find romantic relationships to be tedious, I’m going to guess you don’t experience romantic attraction. If that is the case, then you would fit the definition of aromantic.
As for your sexuality, I am told it is possible to be repulsed by sex and still experience sexual attraction, so that wouldn’t negate your identity in any way.
14 is definitely not too young to begin deciding your identity, especially since all your friends are already experiencing romantic attraction.
Since you don’t experience any attraction beyond aesthetic, you definitely fit the label aromantic, and could use it if you feel it fits you.
(continued) disgusted with even the thought of them touching me. I’m not a very affectionate person by nature, and cheesy romantic stuff makes me cringe. I’m also incredibly independent. Ideally, I want someone who appreciates me and cares for me as I do for them in a casual relationship. I like all the physical stuff, it’s the time commitment and emotional involvement that I dislike. I don’t know if I’m just afraid of commitment/haven’t found the right person or what. I think I like the idea of a relationship more than the reality of one. I want to spend the rest of my life with one person, but on more of a best friend (with benefits) kind of level if that makes sense. I’m sorry this post is so long! This is the first time I’ve ever heard of this (thank you Reddit) and for once I feel like there might be an answer to my ambivalence when it comes to dating.
My ex seemed really clingy too, though in my case, I’m certain that it was due to the fact that I was really emotionally distant because I’m aromantic and romantic relationships really aren’t for me.
As for spending the rest of your life with one person platonically, there is a concept called the queerplatonic partnership, which is essentially platonic dating. I am currently in one of those relationships, and it sounds like it might be as beneficial to you as it was to me.
It sounds like it would be